In defence of young daughters-in-law!

You mothers-in-law, when you get together do you grouse about your daughters-in-law? Do you complain that the young mothers are ungrateful? Do you grumble that they want your help but are suspicious of your intentions? Do you bemoan that they are selfish, that they are unwilling to share?

You do, don’t you. especially when it comes to your grandchildren? You feel they want your help to look after their kids but are reluctant  to share the love of the children. You are angry and would have readily withdrew your watch had it not that you love your grandchildren too much. You feel these young women are disrespectful, ungrateful towards you.

I agree with you some of these young mothers have overstepped the line. They are too possessive, too controlling of their children’s show of love towards you. Too hogging and grasping in their attitudes. After all the sacrifices you have made in taking care of their children you have the right to feel unappreciated!

Allow me to say a word in their defense, though. They behave improperly in this area out of ignorance. Yes, ignorance and also fear!

They fear their children will get too close to you, they fear they get shut out of their own children’s lives. They fear they losing their children to you.

They are ignorant because they lack life’s experience, they are young, they lack exposure and perspective. Their thinking lacks depth. If they have your exposure, your experience , they would feel happy for your help, feel grateful that you are there to render them this service.

Their ignorance dulled their logic, for even if the children love you and give you all their love, how long can this lasts? You are already old, how many more years can you be around. Eventually the children will turn their love back to them. Have they have the same exposure to life as you have, they would have realized the children’s love need to find expression , once the grandmothers are no longer around, this expression would be directed at them. They need not fear but because of their ignorance they panicked.  Have they care to look around they would have found this is the truth. Their ignorance blocked them from seeing this truth. A pity, for had not for this short-sightedness, their gratitude would come out more readily!

They need not have  feared, they should just feel lucky that you are still around to give care to the children.  The shallow thinking prevents them from  appreciating  such perfect arrangement. So, mothers-in-laws, since you have greater depth, are more mature, give your young, naive daughters-in-laws room and time to grow.

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