Cold shoulder treatment, a slow torture but still a torture!


Hello young readers , are you using or have you been using these excuses to ignore your parents and to shrink from your responsibilities? That there are many social obligations to take care of? That your new job is demanding far too much of your time and energy? 

Have you been deliberately using your new-found interests, new-found wealth, your new successes,  your newly gotten achievements or your new-found girlfriends as reasons to evade your duties? Or do you think your recent tiffs, disagreements or arguments with your parents give you the proper excuse to avoid your basic filial duty? Are you just taking advantage of your recent anger, unhappiness and disappointment with your parents to avoid spending time with them on this festive occasion?

If not, then, don’t plan to skip making the trip home to celebrate the  coming festival  with your aging parents? Don’t forget to give them a call as your handsets are always beside you.

Always remember your parents have needs, emotions and feelings like everyone else. They are aging now and are not so capable in meeting their own needs adequately. They have to look to others to get their needs satisfied. They are not so independent now.  As children who are in the prime of life, at the pink of health, are you conscious of the changes taking place in your parents’ lives? Do you realize their lives are changing though you are not astute enough to notice it. It is something they prefer not to happen, but it is not of their choosing. Who then can they look to help them, who else can they turn to at this stage of their lives. Who else but to those closest to them.  Who can be closest than their own children. So, don’t ignore them on this important occasion, not for any reason at all.  Feel for them. They may be old but they still have feelings, wants , needs and hopes like everybody else.

The degree of pain, the depth of sorrow and the intensity of feelings the old people have  are no different from those  experience by you. Their feelings of hurt,  their feeling of happiness, the degree of their loneliness, their sense of rejection, their  joy and their need for family warmth are not any less intense than that  felt by you. They may be getting older but they are still humans with all human emotions and feelings still intact.

If you are thinking your parents deserve the cold shoulders that you are giving them now, do reconsider. Is it your right or duty to bring them miseries, sadness, pains and sufferings as their children. What they need most now are companionship and attention, it is your foremost duty to bring them the satisfaction of these needs, at this advanced stage in their lives! Don’t torture them with the cold shoulder treatment.

Parents are also human beings, they have faults, they make mistakes too. If you can forget the misdeeds others had done to you and can forgive them, it is the more reason you should forget what your parents may have done to you and forgive them. What you have suffered in their hands should not matter so much now. What they have done was due to the lack of parenting knowledge and skills. Be grateful you are different for you have picked up the knowledge and skills. Education has made a difference for you, be magnanimous. Erase the hurt from your heart, know that deep in their hearts they still love you. For which parents do not love their own offspring?

Don’t lose heart if you realize your mistake and wish to make up. We are always allowed to make u-turns in our lives. There is no embarrassment or shame in this. No one is there to stop us  to correct our mistakes but ourselves. Take advantage of the opportunities that such festive occasions offer you. Chinese New Year is a good occasion to mend your relationships., to mend your heart and the hearts of your parents.

I thank you for having read this. Do not take too long to visit again.

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One thought on “Cold shoulder treatment, a slow torture but still a torture!

  1. Quentin says:

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