When people say “Now….”, they do not really mean now.
They are actually referring to things and events that had happened in the distant past or even in the past past. This is even more so if they are arguing – they are digging up past events, things that were said before and past stories to justify their present stances, positions or arguments.
This is no good, this is prolonging the arguments and it just freezes everything up. It hardens further the positions of all parties involved in the arguments. It makes reaching an amicable solution harder. When they are using the past as the now, they are not allowing fresh viewpoints, new ideas to be introduced. They are not allowing any fresh air to come in and revitalize the fouled situation. They are actually holding on to their own positions and maintaining they are still correct. They are allowing the fouled air to blur the atmosphere even further. This is hardly opening themselves to listen to the others’ ideas, viewpoints and arguments. They are not leaving the past to the past, they keep digging up the past and remembering past events without opening themselves to receive new information and feedback. They do not actually want a solution nor are they prepared to accept giving the situation a chance to mend. Their sole aim is to win the arguments.
So, next time when we say “Now…” let us mean really ‘Now’. Let the past be buried and remain buried!
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