Children/Parents …Who is a gift to who?


Are children a gift to parents or are parents a gift to the children?

We often hear people say children are a gift to parents, now let us turn it around and ask – are parents also a gift to the children?

Why are children a gift to parents?

It is because children provide the answer to their yearnings as parents. Most parents seem to take it that married life is not complete without children. Some single persons also have the same yearning, that may be the reason why children are viewed as a gift.

Children do give parents joy, happiness especially when they are young and have not reached the rebellious stage. They light up their lives with their innocence, their antics, their curiosity and their pranks. They delight them with their laughter, warmth and childish talks.

Another reason why parents look forward to having children is because children are an outlet for the love, generosity, and care bottled inside them.  The children are the channel these emotions find expression.

Adults seem always seeking to find out how well they are doing as individuals.  Children provide them the gauge of their self-worth. They seem to need this assurance for themselves.

Adults have the need to show off their skills, children give them the opportunities to give their egos the occasional boosts. Such occasions occur when the children get good grades, when they graduate, when they have girlfriends, when they start their careers, when they get married, when they have children of their own. Even without good reasons they are already on the lookout to turn every occasion into occasion for celebration.

Adults view children as a gift because they see them as their  ‘insurance’ to emotional love and geriatric care, in their waning years, which often turn out to be self-illusions nowadays.

For these reasons many people say ‘children are a gift to parents’.

Why children should view parents as a gift?

I do not know how children view their parents. Do they see them as a gift or do they regard them as  an extra burden? Here are some ways suggestions why children should view their parents as a gift.

Parents is a source (sometimes a lifetime source) of subsidy, children get ‘loans’ from their parents without having to worry about the interest rates nor do they have to worry about repayment. The parents are bad ‘bankers’ as they often do not keep records of how much loan the children have taken up with them.

Children should treat their parents as a gift as they often get years and years of of free lodging and meals. They get at least a quarter of a century of such free service. Who else and where else can they find such generosity?

Who besides the parents would offer unasked-for care and attention when one falls sick or is indisposed? Who would have worried their heads off if the sick child has received any medical attention or not?  Who would have worried if the medicines prescribed have been dutifully taken? Who else would wake up in the middle of the night to see if the fever has receded or to see if the child is warmly covered? Are the attentive ‘nurses’ not  a gift?

Who besides the parents bother to give free advices along the child’s life journey? These advices are often ignored.  The children often treat the repeatedly-given advices and warnings as irritants even though they themselves often are willing to pay thousands of dollars to professional speakers looking for the same things. The parents often agonize when their advices are ignored.  Who  would have put in so much emotional involvement to try to prevent the children from having to go through pains and sufferings? Are these ‘unappreciated angels’ not a gift to the children?

Who would so willingly provide years of pampering with no strings attached? Which laundry-person would wash the clothes for free year in and year out?  Which catering service would gladly serve piping hot meals at any hour of the day or night? Which hotel would provide full room services without charge for as long as you stay with there? Which car rental service would allow you to drive its car without having to foot a cent for insurance, petrol, tires, and all other facilities? Are these overly generous persons a gift?

So, the next time we say ‘children are  a gift to parents’, we should follow it up with ‘parents are also a gift to children.’ Only then is the equation in equilibrium. Or is each group ‘gift’ or ‘burden’ to the other according to its own karmic connection and link?

I thank you for having read this. do not take too long to visit again.

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4 thoughts on “Children/Parents …Who is a gift to who?

  1. As both a parent and a daughter, I see your point of view. Having said that, not all parents are as you described, not even close. While I do appreciate many things my parents did, they also completely failed in MANY other things due to their own inability to view their children as gifts and treated them instead as objects and servants.

    Your comment is valid, that is why I asked in the last sentence if they come together because of their karmic links/connections.

  2. I hear ya, and I so wish we could answer the question definitively in THIS lifetime! 🙂

  3. tmcchesney says:

    Great comments and how true! Enjoyed your post!

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