Have we lost them?

What do you make of the two stories below. Both incidences occurred in the United States but they could had happened anywhere in the world.

This first story involved people searching for bargained items in the annual Black Friday (the start of the Christmas shopping season) in the United States and an unfortunate part-time employee of Wal-Marts.

A 34-year old employee of Wal-Marts was knocked down by the eager on-rushing shopping crowd and trampled to death. This happened when he was opening the doors to start business. Thousands of early morning shoppers rushed on in as the doors were being unlocked. An eye-witness said the employee was “stepped on by hundreds of people” before a space could be cleared to provide him with aid. By the time he was taken to the hospital it was too late to save him.

This anxious shopper-crowd afraid of losing out on bargained items had begun forming outside the store as early as 9p.m. the previous evening.

The second story is about a 84-year-old mother and her her ‘blanket of cats.’

The old lady told the police that she had kept herself warm by covering herself with animals.  The house she was staying was in a deplorable conditions and it did not have a working heater. The aged mother claimed she was placed in the home against her will by her own daughter who only came to visit occasionally. The poor old lady is also suffering from congestive heart failure..

In one bedroom, a turkey was found wandering freely around. In the second room, ducks were found and in a third room, there was a dog. There were also ducks, chicken and geese in the backyard. The whole place was filthy with feces piled up high everywhere.

The old mother had to pile the cats on top of each other to keep herself warm when the cold got unbearable.

To me, both are sad stories. They tell of human greed, inconsideration, the herd instinct, irresponsibility and covetousness. The two incidences reveal cruelty, selfishness, insensitivity and thoughtlessness. It is a sad state of affairs. The pains and sorrows felt by the family of the employee on his death and the suffering the poor old mother had undergone in the hands of her unfilial daughter do not speak well of our values and attitudes.

Have we lost the art of dignified living? Have we lost our sense of respect for others? Have we lost them all? Hope we seek more wisdom for ourselves instead of more material things that tend to clutter our lives and make us lose the finer human qualities. May we be so guided.

“Robbing Peter To Pay Paul” – how did it originate?

The origin of this sixteenth century English saying is here explained to us by Tony Wootton and Gwen Zanzottera from Britain. I took it from their book – “By Hook Or By Crook”. The meaning of this phrase is quite plain and it is frequently used.

“Robbing Peter To Pay Paul”

This is a saying which goes back to the sixteenth century. St. Peter’s in Westminister, which had only been created a cathedral, was put back to being just an abbey Church. The estates belonging to the Church, and their income, were used to pay for urgent repairs to St. Paul’s cathedral, so the Churh authorities robbed Peter to pay Paul.

Well, here is the origin of another saying explained. We can certainly be more confident next  time we use the saying. Happy learning.

CNN Heroes Live presentation

Go to CNN now as it is presenting the award to a hero who has extended herself/himself to help others when no one in the world is looking or watching.

CNN instituted a distinguished panel to choose ten selfless individuals for its audience to choose one. Tonight is when the winner will be announced. CNN is introducing every one of these ten individuals, go and get inspired. Best of human nature on display. Share it with your children if you want them to learn compassion.

One person can make a difference, at least for a few hundreds, if not thousands!

The Day of the 2′Ts’ – Thanksgiving vs Terrorism!

It is not ironic that in one part of the world a country  (the United States) is celebrating Thanksgiving Day and in another part of the same world another country  (India) is torn by a Terrorist Attack!

How more contrasting can things get? We have a group of people giving thanks for the things and for the people they appreciate and treasure and we have another group tearing apart the things and people they hate and wish to destroy. The finest and the worst of human nature are played out today in these two places.

What has gone wrong? Where has it gone wrong?  Is the hatred so intense, is the  the enemity  so great?  Is the causes so hopeless? Is the cause they espoused so pessimistic that they have to resort to such tactic?  Has the line of communication totally broken down that there is no hope for a amicable solution?  Are their life experiences so harsh that they have lost all respect for the sanctity of human lives.?  No matter how righteous their motives may be, they should not inflict such sufferings on innocent people. The causes, circumstances, experiences, motivations and motives are many and varied for each group to come to its own course of action.  But ultimately, is not each individual responsible for his own actions?

An Egg A Day…

Eating an egg a day can raise the risk of developing diabetes, this is what American scientists are telling us. They come to this conclusion after they have tracked 57,000 adults of both sexes for more than 20 years.

For the sake of our own well-being and that of our children’s,  it is advisable that we pay attention to this article.  Doctors are now warning people to eat less eggs. We have to watch our diet more carefully as diabetes can be really bothersome, if contained but deadly, if left unchecked.

Doctors are warning people to eat fewer eggs

Eating just one egg every day can substantially raise the risk of developing diabetes, according to researchers.

For those who already have type 2 diabetes  -  also known as adult onset diabetes  -  eating more than a couple of eggs a week can make the condition worse.

American scientists reached the conclusions after tracking almost 57,000 men and women over a period of up to 20 years.

They found that eating an egg every day increased the overall risk of type 2 diabetes by about 60 per cent. For women the risk increased by 77 per cent.

Eating just one egg a week carried no increased risk, said the report in the online journal Diabetes Care.

Doctors are now urging patients with type 2 diabetes or those at risk of the condition to limit their egg consumption to three a week.

If people want to include eggs in their diet, they suggest that eggs high in omega 3 fats are a better choice.

The researchers, from Harvard Medical School and Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston, recommend further studies into the health risks of eating more than one egg every day.

Eggs, although a good source of vitamins, proteins and other nutrients, contain high levels of cholesterol and saturated fats, which are known to increase the risk of type 2 diabetes.

Diabetes is a condition where the amount of glucose in the blood is too high because the body cannot use it properly.

There are two main types of diabetes. Type 1 develops if the body is unable to produce any insulin. It usually appears before the age of 40.

Type 2 diabetes develops when the body can still make some insulin, but not enough, or when the insulin that is produced does not work properly.

In most cases this is linked with being overweight and usually appears in over-40s.

There are currently more than 2.5 million people with diabetes in the UK plus an estimated 500,000 who have the condition but are not aware of it.

That means there are three million people with diabetes in the UK.  Wonder how many Malaysians are diagnosed patients and how many more are unaware they have the illness.

This article can be found in “Mail Online”, it is written by Noel Young.

Engineering your own turn-around

I spent all the thirty-odd years of my working life as an employee in the private sector, this would somewhat qualify me to speak of life an employee. One is not always in control of what happens along the journey as an employee, life is not always smooth sailing. There are the ups and the down, periods of elation and there are also periods of frustration and hopelessness. Sometimes one is up in cloud nine and at other times one feels one is in a bottomless pit of miseries.

If one happens to fall into the bottomless pit and there is no one to pull one out or one allows oneself to dwell on one’s miseries, one is likely to become frustrated or even become depressed and causing one to give up on life and to withdraw into oneself.

I once found myself facing a situation where what I did seemed not to satisfy my immediate boss. He was making things very difficult for me – he was literally breathing down my neck days in and days out. Saying I was feeling frustrated was putting it mildly. I was at my wit’s end, I was too shy to seek help and yet saw no way out of the situation myself.

As I dwelt on the problem, I fell into a deeper and deeper sense of hopelessness. The only thing that kept me keeping on were my love for my family. And this was the thing that finally snapped me out of the limbo. I looked inward and came to the realization that I had started with self pity and from there I allowed myself to slide down the bottomless pit. I realized I had to pull myself back, I had to engineer my own turn-around. I made an effort from then on to dwell more on the positive than the negative mentally. The negatives had depressed me so much that they had affected my work to the extent that even I myself realized I had become ineffective and unproductive. This mental switch helped me to make a turn-around, from being an unproductive & ineffective staff to being productive & effective.

The pressure had bothered me so much that it changed me from a happy and contented man to being a unhappy and frustrated being. I used to love my job but the strain caused me to hate it and turned me into a stressed and deeply dissatisfied employee. I was an eager beaver, enthusiastic and was very desirous to contribute. But the continued tension made me sluggish, lethargic, listless and uninterested.

I am most grateful the love for my family induced in me the realization to engineer my own turn-around. I dreaded to think what the consequences would have been had I not the impetus to look within myself for a solution.

I wish you well and hope whatever negative situations you may find yourselves to be in, you make the effort to look within yourselves for solution.  I know they are there for I had experienced it myself.

Namatse!

“Red Herring” – how did the saying originate?

Today’s phrase is of more common use and again we have Tony Wootton and Gwen Zanzottera to thank for their contribution. I got the book, “By Hook or By Crook” in Stratford-upon-Avon (the birthplace of William Shakespeare) when I went visiting there.

“RED HERRING”

Although more commonly used today in popular murder mysteries, the saying does in fact goes back to fox hunting.

A red herring was a bloater (a herring partially dried in smoke) and this was often dragged across the trail of a fox to confuse the pursuing hounds. They would follow the false trail – the red herring.

Well, here you are – short and sweet how it all originated.

Days given to us …

The older I get the more I appreciate the wisdom contain in the colloquial sayings of my mother tongue. It is my strong belief that every culture has its own collection of these colloquial sayings and they, too, are full of wisdom. All these are hundreds, if not thousands, years old. They are actually the comments made after years and years of keen observations, insightful perception, thorough study of human actions, behaviors and human nature. These are oral wisdom passed down to us by our ancestors. The knowledge, experiences, understanding, comprehension contained in them are our guides through life if we are alert enough to recognize them. They are to save us from ‘reinventing the wheels’, to save us from suffering the same pains, frustrations, agonies they had gone through.

Many of us do not even know such treasures existed and even those who have the opportunities to come across some of the precious gems, the significant meanings of these gems are lost on them. I regret not paying much attention to them when my parents were around and also for not giving them the due attention that they rightfully deserved. It will be my priority now to gather as many of them as possible.

“The days our parents are giving to us to take care of them are not that many.”

This is my own translation so it may not be so accurate but it is an advice to us to take care of our aged parents while they are still around. It is so beautifully expressed – ‘the days our parents are giving to us to take care of them…” ! It is telling us it is a privilege given us by our parents to perform our filial duties, an opportunity granted us to reciprocate for the sacrifices made, the love given, the things we are enjoying and we now possess.

“The days….are not that many”

It alerts us that the days left for us to carry out our filial duties are not many. It is advising us not to procrastinate. It is good not to procrastinate in such things, or we may live to regret our inactivity.

Most of these sayings are short and sweet, just like the one above. The saying has a ‘urgent tone’ about it, I do hope those who still have their parents around would not ignore the message. I will end with an other saying – ‘When you take drinks (drink water), always remember its source.”

Big Three vs the Senators – who is right?

Below were what were said in Capitol Hill, Washington, in the U.S. by the three chief executive officers of General Motors Corps., Chrysler and Ford Motors and the American senators.

Here, the CEO of General Motors Corp; Rick Wagoner said – “Our industry … needs a bridge to span the financial chasm that has opened up before us.”  He blamed the industry’s predicament not on management failures but on the deepening global financial crisis.

And Robert Nardelli, CEO of Chrysler LLC, told the panel the bailout would be “the least costly alternative” when compared with damage from bankruptcy.

Under questioning from skeptical senators, both said they’d be willing to consider slashing their salaries to $1 to show a willingness to sacrifice for federal help. At the start of a more than four hour grilling before his committee, Sen. Christopher Dodd, D-Conn., told the leaders of GM, Chrysler and Ford Motor Co. that the industry was “seeking treatments for wounds that I believe to a large extent were self-inflicted.”

He cited “inefficient production” and “costly labor agreements” that put the U.S. automakers at a disadvantage to foreign companies.

Joining the Big Three CEOs, Ron Gettelfinger, president of the United Auto Workers union, said the emergency loans were important for the survival of the industry and union jobs. He said the UAW recognized that “in order for these companies to be competitive, we had to make tough calls” in labor concessions

“We don’t think that taxpayers should be asked to throw money at a company that can’t prove that it has a long-term path for success,” said White House Press Secretary Dana Perino.

Who do you think made more sense, who are the ones who were absolving themselves of all blame?

The ‘once auto lords’ were saying everything about nothing and at the end Ron Gettelfinger, president of the United Auto Workers Union who was there to give support to the Big Three unwittingly made the admission that the giants are uncompetitive and part of the reasons is that they had high labor costs. (Quote – “in order for these companies to be competitive, we had to make tough calls” in labor concessions).

What the senators had thrown at them were accurate assessments of the situation they have created The White House made a telling point as it doesn’t look like they have any long term path for recovery.

“Pot Luck” – how did it originate?

Today we have a more common phrase -’Pot Luck’ from Tony Wootton and Gwen Zonzottera’s book, “By Hook Or By Crook”. When we use it the next time we can proudly proclaim we know how the phrase came about.

“POT LUCK”

In the Middle Ages, although many large pieces of meat were roasted on a spit, there was always a large pot hanging over the fire. The contents of this pot could have been bubbling away for three days or three weeks and all the odds and ends went into this pot, such as bones which had been gnawed free of meat, sundry vegetables, and even anything which fell down the chimney! Visitors would be handed a square piece of bread to act as a plate and told to take pot luck.

“Happy Birthday, Darling”! – Which one???

“Happy Birthday, Darling” is a natural expression of a parent’s love for his child. It gives expression to his pleasure, joy and happiness for his child.

This is good, he lets the child knows that he is loved, appreciated and treasured. This is the correct family environment to cultivate. This piece of action shows the parent knows his obligations as a parent. It also shows the child the proper way to act out his responsibilities.

But there seems to be something missing in this happy equation. It seems the young parent has left out his obligations to his own aged parents. This neglect, this missing part negates what he has taught his own child on the responsibilities and obligations as a parent.

In this situation, the young parent forgets to celebrate his own aged parents’ birthdays. The wonderful feelings of love, appreciation and concern he has expressed downwards to his child has not been transmitted upwards to his own aged old parents. The equation is lop-sided, he has neglected to give due consideration of his own parents’ feelings. He seemed to have forgotten his own filial obligations. By celebrating his own child’s birthday he taught his child well on the ‘responsibilities’ of a parent, but his failure to celebrate his own aged parents’ birthdays, he taught his child badly on the ‘responsibilities’ to parents.

The circle of responsibility would have been complete if the celebrations of the parents’ birthdays had been included.  The circle of education would also be more complete had the teaching on filial piety were included.

Children are always watching what their elders are doing, they do not often do what you say, but they do take in what you do.

In long ago China, when everything was done manually, there was an agrarian family whose daily existence was always a battle. A very bad famine did not help matters for the head of this struggling family which comprised of the man, his wife, a son and his aged old father. His food supply had dried up and for many days the family had nothing to eat. He was at his wit’s end as to how he could ensure the survival of his family members. The battle within him raged on for days before he finally made the agonizing decision to abandon his father. One morning he bundled his old feeble father into a big rattan basket and started to set off. His young son was there when they left, the young boy asked his father why he was putting his grandfather in a basket and where were they going. He told his son he was carrying the old man off to the hill so that there would be one mouth less to feed. Later that day when he returned, the young boy asked why he had come back empty-handed, and what he had done with the basket. The young father was a bit puzzled and asked why he asked so. The young son said he wanted to keep it as he would be needing it when the young father himself had grown old and feeble and could no longer contribute.

If we ever we have the occasions to be joyous and happy, let us keep our awareness of having to be grateful with us. Let us be always be mindful of who have caused to bring about such precious moments to us.

Taking it for granted.

No, I am not talking about taking people for granted which what we usually do. Here I am not even talking about the tangible things that we use day in and day out. What I am referring to now are the intangibles – the bodily movements and the freedom from illnesses and sicknesses.

How many of us are ever mindful of our bodily functions that seem to work effortlessly for us everyday? They have always been at our calls, never ever disobeying us.  We have always be able to carry out simple bodily functions like being able to knee down,  to turn our bodies, to lift up our legs, to carry articles, to  get out of the bed or the chair  or even to move about without any difficulty.  I have taken the workings of all these functions for granted, expecting them to always serve me. I, for one, never thought they would malfunction and desert me one day.

It was not until this week when I find that I could not get out of bed or the chairs without experiencing pain in my back that I realize how much I have neglected to appreciate these simple bodily functions. Some of these malfunctions can be corrected, others may be beyond any medical remedies. They may be the start of the decline of our bodily functions as old age catches up with us. Whatever it may be, this article hopes to stir up the feeling of appreciation in us for our intangible gifts.

These are gifts, make no mistake about it. Be ever mindful of your good fortune if you are at the pink of health. Give thanks daily for having all the bodily functions working normally. And give a thought to those whose movements are restricted because some of their bodily functions are already out of kilter. Be thankful, for these are no small matters. Wait till you experience the inconveniences then you will know they are actually big matters.

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Harmony in the family.

Witnessing  a  family enjoying a close and harmonious relationship is most soothing and calming to the spirit and mind. But such tranquility, peace, serenity and happiness does not happened by itself. This much-envied and much-desired situation is a result of much hard work and tenacious persistence on the part of everyone in the family.

Long before such wonderful scene can flower each member of the family would have put in plenty of thoughts, commitment and hard work. This can come about only when all members in the family practise forgiveness, tolerance, flexibility, provide support to one another  and are considerate to each other. It is the result of a team effort, contributions made by the oldest in the family to the youngest. But the initiator of this effort need not be the father or the oldest in the family, anyone can be the change maker here.

But this tranquility, this peace, this serenity, this harmony is very fragile. All it takes for it to break into pieces or maybe break beyond repair is for one member of the family to lose his mindfulness of what he and the other members of his family have so diligently and tirelessly fostered.

Many things can be unwittingly be introduced into the family atmosphere that can disrupt everything that has been so tediously cultivated. There are many hidden and not-so-obscured disruptive factors that the family members have to be beware of. None can afford to be uncompromising, opinionated, dictatorial, stubborn, nor can one be selfish, calculative, intolerant, scheming or deceitful. One member needs only be addicted to alcohol, drugs or gambling to bring pain and suffering into the equation.  Any of this can cause a wedge in what the family has so painstakingly built. Things need not degenerate to such a dire situation before the effect can be felt. Even a heated verbal exchange is enough to bring disruption to the peace.  It can be so easily destroyed, it is really fragile.

Though there are so many more distractions for the old as well as the young in this modern world of ours,  making the cultivation of such warm situation more difficult, it still should be strongly encouraged. To come together as a family there must be strong affinities amongst the members. Let the coming together be an occasion for happiness and love and not an occasion for petty quarrels and useless conflicts. Let us be mindful as we go about our daily tasks, and let us concentrate on how we can spread happiness in the families.

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Mother Earth has done its part…

Malaysia, I, Mother Earth has done my part! I have been kind, compassionate, caring, I have been looking after you just like a mother would do for her child. I have extended help to you without you having to ask for it since your birth as a nation.

I have been more than generous to you. Look back through the years – first I gave you tin dredged from the deposits deep inside me, after that timber was shipped overseas from the logs you cut from my jungles, then you tapped the rubber from the trees planted on my land, this was followed with you harvesting the fresh fruit bunches from the oil palm trees you had planted in the plantations previously occupied by the rubber trees. In the recent past to the present you extracted crude oil from deep inside me.

All these have brought you riches, abundance and prosperity beyond your expectations. But I am worried for you, I do not know how much longer these fortuitous events will continue to grace you. Nor can I guarantee you that your descendants can continue to enjoy these gifts.

Have you been acting responsibly taking good care of what I have given you? Have you been diligently thinking of how to utilize and preserve what I have been and are still delivering to you? These, I hope, you are taking them as gifts, which they are, and not mistakenly taking them as your proprietary rights or birth rights.

It is hoped you have been acting as guardians of these gifts and that you are not wasting the wealth created by these commodities gifted to you. Are you treasuring and preserving the riches, the prosperity, the abundance, the good life which these gifts have brought you. Hope you are not been extravagant, frivolous or careless with what have been entrusted to you. If you have placed yourself in this category, let you be forewarned – you are doing it at your own peril, for every good thing has to come to an end.

I have done my part, Malaysia, now it is your turn to do yours! If my advice counts for anything, it is , please ‘act with wisdom’.

Come visit again. Thank you.

“Pop Goes the Weasel” – how did this saying originate?

Tony Wootton and Gwen Zanzottera give us an interesting explanation on how “Pop Goes the Weasel” came into being. Get a copy of “By Hook or by Crook” and you have many more stories how many of the British sayings originate.

“Pop Goes the Weasel”

In the last century there was a children’s song which went ‘Up and down the City Road, in and out of the Eagle, that’s the way money goes, pop goes the weasel’. It had nothing to do with animals, particularly as it was set in London.

A weasel was the tool which hatters used and as many of them worked near the City Road, when they needed money (especially for drink at the Eagle pub in the City Road), they would ‘pop’ or pawn the weasel in the nearest pawnbrokers.

Do you know how the phrase is commonly used?  I do not.

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We sure can use some Relaxing Daytime Techniques.

You don’t have to check into a spa to unwind. Weave these three mini-breaks into your day for stress relief, says the Featured article from CNN. Any technique that can help us maintain our health deserves our attention. They seem to make sense so read on but more useful is for us to apply these techniques. Remember to pass them along if you find them effective.

Your brain, just like your body, needs downtime. “It performs best after you give it even just a little time to relax,” Ann Pardo says. Try one of these quick boosts to reset your mind.

In the Time It Takes to Cook a Bowl of Oatmeal, You Can…
Turn your shower into a relaxing ritual.
Keep your speedy suds-up-and-rinse routine, but add a small pampering element to upgrade an everyday shower into a spa experience. Trade your plain old soap for a rich body wash (pick a fragrance that reminds you of a favorite place). Or try a scented shower infuser. Toss a tablet on the tub floor; as it dissolves in the water, it will fill your bathroom with its aroma. “Take a few slow, deep diaphragmatic breaths to help calm your nervous system and ease stress,” says Amit Sood, M.D., director of research for the Integrative Medicine Program at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota.

In the Time It Takes to Find Your Car Keys, You Can…
Knead away stress with a hand massage.
Whether you work at a computer all day or not, hands carry a ton of tension. But using a fast modified reflexology technique can diminish that clenched-fist feeling and even affect the rest of your body. First apply a silky lotion to make your hands easy to massage. Begin at the base of the large muscle below your thumb. Use the fingers of your opposite hand to rub gently in a circular motion, says Stephanie Hunt, a massage therapist at the Red Mountain Spa, in St. George, Utah. As you work your way up your thumb to the tip, you will release tightness in your shoulders, neck, and scalp.

In the Time It Takes to Read Three New E-Mails, You Can…
Pause for a few soothing seconds.
When you don’t have time to leave your desk, mist your face with a cucumber-scented spray. It feels refreshing, hydrates your skin, and offers a welcome break from stale office air. Plus, the smell of cucumbers can reduce anxiety, says Alan Hirsch, M.D., neurological director of the Smell & Taste Treatment and Research Foundation, in Chicago. To further increase the feel-good factor, “disengage for several minutes to clear your mind,” says Amit Sood, M.D. Close your office door and log out of your e-mail, he suggests.

Written by Sally Wadyka

They are cheap and easily applied, try them and come back and tell others how effective they are.

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Help Give Away US$100,000

Like me you may not have US$100,000 to give away but now you have a chance to help some deserving person to receive this big sum of money. CNN is giving away this sum of money to one of the ten personalities its panelists have picked. All the ten personalities are persons who are selfless and sacrificing individuals who are giving up their time, energy and money to bring help and relief to others who are suffering.

You can read the good deeds they are doing  in : CNN.com/Heroes

All you need to do for one of them to receive  the US$100,000  is to go to CNN.com/Heroes to vote.

The ten personalities chosen for the contest are:

1.   Tad Agoglia – community crusader.

2.   Marie Da Silva – championing children.

3.   Yohannes Gebregeorgis – championing children.

4.   Carolyn LeCroy – championing children.

5.   Anne Mahlum – community crusader.

6.   Liz McCartney – community crusader.

7.   Phymean Noun – championing children.

8.   David Puckett – medical marvel.

9.   Maria Ruiz – championing children.

10.   Viola Vaughn – championing children.

So, how about it?  Spare half an hour of your time to reward someone who has been giving, giving, giving.

Oh yes, nearly forget to mention the closing date which is 20th. November, 2008.

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I salute you, Americans!

Yes, I am speaking about the Americans, not about America, the people, not the country. As a people you have many commendable qualities which are often obscured by the bad publicity generated by the politicians and the people running the big multi-national corporations. These two groups of your fellow citizens have done your reputation great harm, they owe the rest of you an apology.

Your most admirable qualities are your ability to shed off your prejudices, your ability to self correct. This quality was demonstrated again and again in your country’s history.

Starting with slavery, this was a bad blotch in your history. Your conscience spoke and you abolished it. This was one of your most significant acts. The race issue lingered, you overcame that too. The final, closing chapter is the election of Barrack Obama as your forty-fourth president today.

You held the religious bias against the Catholics, then came John Kennedy, he challenged your conscience and again you followed the dictate of the conscience. A fine effort!

Though you have a short history compared to many other societies in this world, you have set yourself out to be an example for fair play. For centuries these societies have suppressed many of their own kind with force, with cultural and economic shackles. Though they know it is cruel and an injustice they continue to ignore the promptings of their conscience. You have not forgotten your roots. You allow those from different countries and cultures to come into your shores and you allow them to become your fellow citizens. Americans, your sense of fair play is exemplary, in your society the poor, the deprived, the underprivileged, and the shackled have the equal chance to make a total turn-around.

Today, together you have reached the promised land! Hold your heads high, it is a historic day, not only for you but also for all mankind.  It is decency triumphing over cruelty and injustice! It has helped restore the faith of many people around the world, in the goodness of human nature. Please do not lose it through internal squabbling. Treasure it, it is precious!

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What Is A Dad to you!

What Is A Dad?

A dad is someone who
wants to catch you before you fall
but instead picks you up,
brushes you off,
and lets you try again.

A dad is someone who
wants to keep you from making mistakes
but instead lets you find your own way,
even though his heart breaks in silence
when you get hurt.

A dad is someone who
holds you when you cry,
scolds you when you break the rules,
shines with pride when you succeed,
and has faith in you even when you fail.

–Anonymous

I took this poem from ’somuchmorethanamom’. I told her I think the “Dad’ mentioned is the ideal dad, a dad many fathers aspire to be but many have to finally admit they fall short. Idealism is a far cry from reality. What I will try to do here is to give the real picture.

‘A dad is someone who
wants to catch you before you fall
but instead picks you up,
brushes you off,
and lets you try again’.

It is hundred percent right, he wants ‘to catch you before you fall’ this is the part that causes the conflicts between the dad and the children. This is the part that earns them the wrath of the children. To the dad he wants to save the children having to go through the pains and sufferings they themselves had underwent, he wants to share his experiences but this is not understood by the children. The children usually take it as the dad stifling their growth, denying them their right to experience the challenges of life. If the dad persists and does not learn how to let go of it, the communication gap usually widens.

‘…but instead picks you up,
brushes you off,
and lets you try again’

This part is almost, always done reluctantly if the dad anticipates the consequences would be negative.

A dad is someone who
wants to keep you from making mistakes
but instead lets you find your own way,
even though his heart breaks in silence
when you get hurt.

He always ‘lets you find your own way’ but always with a heavy heart, and it often ends up with him paying a heavy price – emotionally and sometimes financially too. How hard his hearts breaks and  into countless pieces when the children get hurt in the process.

A dad is someone who
holds you when you cry,
scolds you when you break the rules,
shines with pride when you succeed,
and has faith in you even when you fail.

At the end of everything, though he has failed to do the things he dearly wants to do, to provide the security that he sees as a father’s obligation, he still throws his faith behind his children. He ardently hopes and silently prays his young ones are more wise and have become more mature having gone through the tests by fire.

It is sometimes heart-breaking when we witness some children letting their fathers down repeatedly, to see the father pained again and again. It seems the love is taken for granted, not appreciated at all.  Some children just do not learn at all.

Bloggers, leave stories of your dad’s sacrifices here. Sing their praises in front of others. Do not leave their efforts unrecognized!!!

Come visit again. Thank you.

Precious treasure or scrap metal? I’m talking about your aged parents.

How are you treating your parents now that they have come to be dependent on you and have to come and live with you? Are you treating them as precious jewels or as scrap metal? I can hear you asking if I have lost my marbles – how can they be ‘precious jewels ‘ to you now?  ‘Scrap metal’ is a more apt description you say.

Your wife – she is the pillar of your home now. She is capable, stylish and articulate. She handles all the household matters and she calls the shots in all family affairs now. She is your connection to the outside world and she plays the role of your ambassador to the hilt. She dresses well, handles herself superbly and is your perfect advertisement of how well you are doing. How can you burden her with having to take care of your aged parents, this is unthinkable. She is a modern woman and modern women do not take on such mundane tasks anymore. Such tasks are now only perform by those backward, illiterate and unrefined daughters-in-law.

Your children – they are your pride and joy. You shower them with branded goods and spare no expense and effort to provide them with the best.  You would not want to forget their birthdays least they think you do not love them. You take them for holidays every year and  would prefer you do not have to drag the extra ‘old baggage’ along. Even if you manage to leave them at home they still give you a bad conscience, don’t they? You are modern parents and you prefer your children to be brought up with modern ideas, in the modern ways. You do not want them to be polluted and saddled with ‘out-of-date and antiquated ways and ideas. Who can blame you for wanting your children to be progressive and to possess a worldview of things.

The maids -  they give good value for your money and they have the added advantage of making you appear affluent and doing well. You can order them about, they cater not only to your whims and fancies but also to those of the big boss’ and of the other ‘ highnesses’.

Your pet dog – only sophisticated and the well-to-do keep pedigrees, right? It gets you admiring and envious stares when you parade them around. Rearing pet dog at least give you some status in the company you keep.

The old couple – they do not come anywhere close when comparing them with the wife, children, maids and pet dog. They are nobodies when stacked against the wife. They are ancient in clothing, speech, thinking and preferences, you wish they would already be in bed when friends visit. They are real embarrassment, they have no fashion sense, they dress funny. What is worst, is they have odd habits and sometimes act awkwardly in front of your sophisticated friends and associates. What face-losing moments they must have created for you! The ‘boss’ does not want to be burdened by any ‘old baggage’, so what the boss says go, at least in your household, right?

The parents belong to the past, they are  history, the children are the future. Is it not a wiser and smarter move to take care of the future? The old guys can be neglected as they are dependent on you, the children you cannot neglect them for you are going to depend on them in the future. Must invest time, energy and money for the future. Moreover, the old couple would not dare make a noise if they do not get your attention but the same cannot be said of your ‘precious treasures’ (the prince and the princesses) – you do not wish to rub them the wrong way, do you? Irritating them and causing them to throw tantrums would be an unforgivable sin!

The parents are a drain on your finance whereas the maids are good investment.  The maids clean house, wash cloth and cook your meals and they spare the wife from having to perform such chores. The old couples not only do not help in such chores, instead they take up space in your home which you can use to provide a more comfortable environment for the wife and children.  If not for them  taking up the space, you can also convert it for the installation of state-of-art entertainment equipments for the enjoyment of your friends and family. They are proving to be very unproductive in all ways, they  do not contribute  to the family at all. The maids also serve as guards for your home when you, the ‘boss’ go on holidays with the ‘prince and the princesses’ but the oldies they only cause you inconveniences as they restrict your movements. Real nuisances, sometimes, are they not?

The pet dog brings you acceptability with the ’sophisticated people’ and it gives you respectability, the old parents sometimes bring you embarrassment as they do not know how to behave with the people in the higher echelon. How can you and the ‘boss’ appear with such country pumpkins in public, they are real hindrance to the both of you.

Now, I can see you have solid reasons why you delegate the old folks to the scrap heap.  They mean more troubles, burdens  and hindrances than benefits, assets and blessings. Serve them right -  they deserve it – who ask them to grow old and be so foolish as not to have stack something away for themselves. Silly old goats, serve them right, serve them right, serve them right.

Hey, care to comment on the treatment of parents in the hands of their children?

Come visit again. Thank you.

“On Tenterhooks” – how did the saying originate?

Tony Wootton and Gwen Zanzottera give us another saying from their book ‘By Hook or By Crook”.

“On tenterhook”

A ‘tenter’ is a frame for stretching cloth (which is where the word “tent’ comes from), and the ‘tenterhook’ is the hook which holds the cloth taut, particularly after treating and washing.

This is why when someone’s nerves are stretched to the utmost and they are tense and taut, they are described as being on tenterhooks.

Come visit again. Thank you.